The Wheel of the Year: Happy Yuletide!

This year, on December 21st, at 9:30 pm PST, the Sun makes its yearly journey into the sign of Capricorn, meaning we have reached the longest night of the year - Winter Solstice, or Yule. I believe that for those of us whose ancestral roots reach back through time and space into pre-Christian Northern Europe, there is a genetic memory that is inherent in our psyches that lets us know on a subtle level when the wheel has turned. We are now in the dark half of the year, and though we have modern conveniences that suggest differently, our bodies and souls tell us what we know to be true - it is nearing midwinter.  How many of us have noticed the urge to turn within, to stay in bed, to hibernate?  Our bodies have a deep wisdom of their own, and we instinctively know that now is the time to rest, reflect, and dream of the time when the sun is reborn.

Winter was not always as easy as it is now in the northern hemisphere, with our heat on demand, light at the tips of our fingers, and a stunning array of exotic fruits and vegetables from the far flung reaches of the earth for the asking.  The Winter Solstice: the Sacred Traditions of Christmas,      explains that the people of the old world did not even have fresh milk to drink for the entire winter, as sheep and cows only lactate after giving birth (February 2^nd is known as “Imbolc” on the Celtic wheel of the year, and literally means “the time when ewe’s milk comes in”) (Matthews).  This is a highly recommended book that explains the origins of many of the modern day Christmas traditions that have their origins in much older pre-Christian northern lands. It is chalk full of fascinating lore and even recipes that will restore our feeling of the sacred at this pivotal time of year, which many of us have become quite understandably jaded by in the consumer culture we live in.

Vestiges of the Holly King

On the Wheel of the Year, we are now at the opposite polarity of the Summer Solstice, the time of the Longest Day, and the peak/decline of the Sun/God.  He, and the sun, have been slowly diminishing in power since Summer Solstice, and it is now time for his rebirth.  In the Celtic traditions, there is an old story about the Holly King and the Oak King that do battle for supremacy over the light and dark half of the year.  The seasonal turning point of Winter Solstice, the rebirth of the sun, was a numinous event so important that it symbolized life or death for our forebears. It provided hope at the darkest time of the year, and assurance that life would continue. Countless standing stones and other Neolithic structures were built to honor and mark the return of the sun, two of the most famous being Stonehenge in England, and Newgrange in Northern Ireland.

I invite you to close your eyes for a moment and imagine what it was like at this time of year for countless generations whose blood still flows through us. 

It is the longest night of the year, and the long awaited rebirth of the sun is almost upon us. Outside the wind howls fiercely as it cuts through the trees, and snow covers everything in a blanket of white as far as the eye can see.  It is though the Cailleach has always reigned and the golden warmth of the sun just a distant memory, or maybe even a dream.  Caught in this seemingly endless winter, we don’t know for sure if it will ever come again.  So we wait. Our stomachs are growling for fresh meat or a bowl of sweet milk, but all we have had for weeks has been the last of the smoked meat and the bits of dried barley cakes saved for just this time during the last harvest.  The weather has been too inclement even for the hunters to brave the cold and bring us fresh meat, but tonight they are out, they have no choice.  Many of us are silent, deep within our own thoughts, gazing into the flames of the hearth fire and dreaming our private dreams.  In this profound silence, with the fire crackling, and the forces of nature driving against our warm and protected cocoon, it is easy to slip between the worlds and to see into the heart of the mysteries.  The crunching of heavy footfalls in deep snow and the jovial shouts of the hunters stir us from our reverie. 

NewGrange Tomb Spirals - Winter Solstice

 A weak shaft of light illuminates our space, highlighting sacred symbols and spirals etched into the walls, marking the end of the Longest Night.  We will celebrate and feast this day, the God has been reborn and spring is just another turn of the wheel away.

Every Solstice I am reminded of those wise words indelibly etched into my childhood memory from The Grinch who Stole Christmas: “It came. Somehow or other it came just the same!”  For no matter how deep and dark and endless, or bereft of hope winter can sometimes seem, it is always followed by the return of the sun, and eventually a glorious spring.

And so turns the wheel.

 Bright Blessings for a Happy Solstice and a Inspiring Yule!

Wake-up Calls, Claiming our Personal Power, and Saying Sayonara to the Nice Girl Syndrome: The Fifth House in Astrology

I have had a series of vivid nightmares lately.  In one, I was sitting in a hairstylist’s chair, chatting away to a distracting, gregarious stranger sitting at my side, when to my abject horror, I finally look up at my reflection in the mirror, and all of my long hair has been chopped off in a decidedly unflattering crew cut.    In another, I put my purse down in a “hidden” corner of the shoe department in a busy store, and when I go to retrieve it, it is gone.  I search frantically for my bag, and am presented with an array of designer purses and wallets, but none of them are mine.  In all of these nightmares there was a distinct feeling that I was going to be in trouble, because I was being negligent.   What are these dreams all saying? What do they all have in common? They are shouting at me, in my unconscious state: Wake up! Pay attention! Something meaningful is being stolen from you, while you are figuratively speaking, asleep at the wheel. 

I have recently become conscious of a rather disturbing fact.  I am full of seething resentment towards certain people, and its all my fault.  Like many women, I was trained from an early age to turn the other cheek, give the benefit of the doubt, and instead of wisely picking my battles; I have erstwhile chosen not to engage in battle at all, even while my ramparts were being sieged.  We all know the feeling.  Someone says something totally inappropriate to you, and you wonder for days if she meant to hurt your feelings or if you are just being “too sensitive”.  Meanwhile, you don’t call her on it, and you file it away, knowing in your gut that it just doesn’t sit right, and you probably should have asked her what she meant by that.  Here’s another good one.  You are chatting with a friendly acquaintance over coffee, and you bring up some deliciously good ideas, and answer her seemingly innocuous questions about your work, which you find neatly presented in her blog the following morning, as though they came directly from her, and her many years of research – she - the Wisewoman herself.

This can be unbelievably frustrating.  Second guessing oneself is something many women do on a daily basis, because they are so concerned with hurting the other person’s feelings, or Goddess forbid, confrontation.  We live in a culture that calls women over-reactive if we express anger; too sensitive, if we experience sadness, and just plain out of our minds if we question the status quo.  The sad thing is, this is not just a gender inequity; women have the propensity to fight dirty with each other – and by dirty, I mean subtle, in a way that knocks us off our balance and keeps us silent, for fear of appearing anything other than nice.  Yes, even in this day and age, many of us are still prey to this un-empowering ideal of womanhood.  Some of us cloak our inner nice girl in new ways, just to keep us from the audacious act of claiming our power.  For example, we can fool ourselves into thinking we are “doing the right thing”, or “acting with integrity”, when we are being clearly taken advantage of by our employers, lovers, and friends.  We might tell ourselves that we know we are being treated unfairly, but, heck we made an agreement, and being noble (read compliant) we will fulfill our part of the bargain because we got ourselves into it in the first place, and its only the right thing to do.  I am all for keeping promises and fulfilling my end of a bargain, but I have all too often been seen with my head down, enduring unfair treatment, and building a wall of resentment one brick at a time, because I am too afraid to say, “Wait a second, this is seriously not cool!”

In astrology, self esteem and confidence is Fifth house territory.   For those new to astrology, imagine your chart as a piece of pie, divided into twelve pieces.  Each of these pieces is called a “house’, and represents a different “department”, or area in life.   For example, the seventh house is our house of partnerships, and the sign found on the cusp, or beginning of that house will influence the way we interact as or with a significant other.  Also, if there are any planets in that house when we were born, the archetypes of those planets will also say something about our partnerships of any kind: marriages, including creative or business partnerships.

3rd Chakra: Self Esteem

The Fifth house, on the other hand, rules creativity, play, children, fulfillment, self-esteem, and self-expression.  It shows us how comfortable we are (or aren’t) claiming our personal space and sticking up for ourselves.  We can tell a lot depending on what sign is on our fifth, and what, (if any) planets we have in there, about our sense of entitlement to expressing ourselves in a given situation.  

The Fifth House is also related to the 3^rd Chakra – the Solar Plexus, which is about our personal will and self-esteem.   The color yellow, or gold is associated with this area, which incidentally are the colors also associated with the sign Leo – which rules the Fifth.  The stone Citrine has a particularly 3^rd chakra/fifth house vibration, and if you are doing work on bolstering your feelings of self-worth, its not a bad idea to wear this stone, or keep a piece of it in your pocket. 

Citrine

Boudicca: Celtic Warrior Queen

As I have realized the unhealthy resentment I was carrying around with me was actually diminishing the quality of my life, over the past month, I have vowed to make inroads with changing this pattern.  I won’t lie: it has been hard.  Really hard. Even putting up small boundaries has been a challenge, and the guilt of not being “nice”, has made me feel really bad. I have even had to get support for not going back on my new boundaries, and “just this one last time” do something that everything inside of me was screaming, “No! Hold out!”  I am not used to feeling this kind of conflict.  I am, however, used to feeling resentment – and I have decided that I don’t want to feel that way anymore.  So, until I can make my clear boundaries and not look back, I’m just going to have to deal with the discomfort.  This also goes for speaking my own truth and stating my needs.  There is nothing uncommon or monstrous about my needs. They are what they are. I am just not used to saying some of them out loud, for fear of appearing needy or infringing on someone else’s worldview.  It is scary; it is uncomfortable.  But I do feel an interesting sense of freedom starting to emerge; I feel lighter not carrying the burden of resentment.  It is a strange and heady brew that is honestly, almost kind of exciting.  I still have a long way to go, but I am just going to work with it, one situation at a time, and know that I am every bit as entitled as the next person. So there.